Musings

I’ll be 70 in a week. I think I’m supposed to have some thoughts on that.

To be honest, I’m not sure that I do. I mean, yeah, we’ve spent the last three or so years in fear of our lives anyway, so death is no longer so scary, right? Although I’ll admit that when a new twinge hits, I think, is this it!? Is this what kills me?

And yeah, new goals feel harder to come by. I keep seeing help wanted ads and wonder why I’m not circling them. I still have my Kwik Trip shirts – why aren’t they calling me back? I knew it was time to leave there though, when I had to suck on cough drops because my throat got scratchy flirting with so many customers in a row and twice — not once – the cough drop flew out of my mouth while talking.

Nope. Not really any new goals. Oh yes, I’m going through my list of publishers and deleting those I think I have no chance with. I think I’ll get my rejection datalist up to 350 and my “let’s give these another try” down to 50. Goal is to have them all queried out while I’m still in my 60s. Got a week to go.

Got an email from someone who wanted a copy of my Illinois copper book before my presentation in Evanston, IL later this month — but not to worry, they’ll give it back at the meeting. Okay, you want to be prepped so you can ask questions. That’s good. But you can’t buy a copy? It’s only $10.

And Nevada Press decided my Virginia City book isn’t good enough for them. Not local enough? Sometimes I think Nevada is almost ashamed of its association with Bonanza. I can’t prove it, though.

Acting. Heck, I’m just gonna be doing that on my own now. Did you see my video read of my favorite novel? No, it’s one of mine. I thought it turned out well, even though I tried a two-camera system and wasn’t smart enough to film in five minute segments. So the camera one is stuck in the camera — file’s too big, I can’t get it out. So you’ll see me looking at something and think, who’s over there?

But no, I wouldn’t be surprised my agency has given up on me. The last audition I sent, I didn’t realize I couldn’t do the call-back in Chicago the following week. I mean, really. A second audition in Chicago? And then a fitting in Chicago? And then filming in Chicago? I didn’t even know what it paid.

Saw a play Sunday that made me really really wish I could get into directing again. I get the challenges a director faces with a script. But surely there had to be some way to deal with all those set changes without going black and the audience watching the actors walking around moving stuff in the dark, every two minutes. I would have come up with something. And here I was telling one who was waiting to get in — I was ushing — that plays are usually always better than the movie version. Not this time. In case you’re curious, it’s Shawshank Redemption and they did sell out. Nothing like doing a stage play of a popular movie to make money. I’d love to do The Odd Couple again, but I’d never have those two actors I had who were so brilliant.

So really, all these little changes heading for 70 were not overnight things. Life is a gradual process and another year is just another year. There is something about 70, though. I wish I could figure out what it is.