April 18

From my writer’s journal: WANT TO WATCH TIME FLY?

1985

“What makes me happy is rewriting. In the first draft you get your ideas and your theme clear, if you are using some kind of metaphor you get that established, and certainly you have to know where you’re coming out. But the next time through it’s like cleaning house, getting rid of all the junk, getting things in the right order, tightening things up. I like the process of making writing neat.” Ellen Goodman I agree!

“Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.” Alexander Pope

A great idea for future use. A TV show I didn’t want to miss and a story I wanted to finish – take the typewriter to the living room. Works well. Perhaps now I’ll get more done knowing I can take it wherever I want to be. Oh those days before laptops!

“I like work. It fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.” Jerome K. Jerome.

“The superior man understands what is right; the inferior man understands what will sell.” Confucius

Back to the book, as they say. Worked out Chapter 3. About Arabus and his past. Short but sweet. No more ideas for short stories so I should stick with this for awhile. Typed up the Jazz stories for Allen at WBP. He said he’d be interested in reading them. Harper and Row haven’t returned yet, so made note to him about simultaneous submission.

“All religions will pass, but this will remain: simply sitting in a chair and looking in the distance.” V.V. Rozanov

Would you believe July 22 was the last time I wrote in here? Could be because on July 23 I got an interview for a job and July 30 I started. An incredibly hectic past two months. And not only that but the transition from typewriter to typesetter was very painful, the road back even worse.

1986 

Bennett is three now, but until he’s four, he’s my only job. Carrie is 8 but my kids never needed much help with schoolwork because I rewarded them $1 for every A. Great incentive to study and don’t let anyone tell you differently. Adam started school, too, at age 6 and that left me and Ben to hang out together.

Received the sample copy of Swallow’s Tale and guidelines. Thought I better start acting professional so I sent for the one that sounded best. Turns out to be absolutely no good at all. Now an even more professional approach – I’ll wait for the ’87 Market before wasting any more money.

1990

They say it’s good to stop and reflect, figure out where you’ve been, where you’re going, who you are. The answer to all three is – I don’t know. But there are signs to indicate I may not be wasting my time after all. Vampires are becoming a hot item again.

The more days that go by without a rejection the more excited I get, and the more excited I get the slower the days go by. Keep writing, don’t sit and wait. I’m finally reaching the point where I am proud of my work.

Printed out another section of the novel (Bloodlove). I feel writing is harder, yet that’s good. I really should work harder to understand this computer. I’ll have to type the final draft of the novel by hand.

If there’s not enough time for writing, a successful writer makes time. It’s the only way to keep the flow alive. Spent the morning researching at the library. How awful it was to discover that even knowledge has a price – parking, lunch – that I simply cannot afford right now. I also couldn’t check any books out because I can’t afford the fines I’m sure are sitting there. Got some research done anyway – discovered a problem in my novel.

I’m not an official writer yet, although I write. Will attending that conference make me one? Maybe. My head is so buried right now I feel like a paranoid ostrich. If I pick my head up and look around, I’ll be scared to death. Imaginary worlds aren’t always the most secure.

I know they say to have more than one project going at a time, but it sure seems hard to keep my mind on the right thing at the right time.

My first real all day writing session. Shit, it was hard. Finished the second disk, though. Floppy disks. Ah yes.

Right, it’s been a few days but I’m working part-time again. So it’s back to typing a lot at night. Have backed away from theater after doing five in one year. Decided to do a lot more querying. Save on postage. Gotta get them typed on memory. Picked up my new Writers Market with my own money – hot off the presses. Plan to read it cover to cover. May try to get an agent.

Got a new idea, write a western play. With one or two love songs, maybe. Where the gal runs with outlaws is mistook for a man, then decides she wants to fall in love but needs to learn to act like a lady and a man who’s shy and can’t shoot a gun tries to learn, decide they like each other the way they are. I’m pretty good with westerns. 

Wow! What a last month and a half. Had to do a major job on my novel Bloodlove to get it ready for an agent who wanted to see it, but after all the pain of hand typing he rejected it. But will I give up? Nooooo. I simply will not look at this novel again for two years. At which time if it has not sold I will consider a rewrite. Maybe I’ll be better then.

Stay tuned for more writing nonsense!