February 27:

“I believe in compulsory cannibalism. If people are forced to eat what they kill, there would be no more war.” Abbie Hoffman, in Revolution for the Hell of It

I’m reading the above to add more color to my novel ‘Dinner at Marshall Fields’ because they both include the riots at the 1968 Democratic National Convention in Chicago. When I’m done reading his book, I’ll watch the movie “Trial of the Chicago 7” again, which I’ve already seen four times. It’s that good. What I understood about those riots is that the people were upset about the two assassinations earlier that year, and felt all their hope for ending the Vietnam war now rested on their shoulders. Hoffman himself was not a fan of RFK, but he admitted that the riots, which were planned while they thought LBJ was still running, actually took a back seat to the hope that RFK offered. Once he was dead, the riot plans began again in earnest.

This is going to be a day of days, I think. Did I really get a commercial gig in Chicago, in Lincoln Park, where those riots took place? If I did, it would be one I got without my agency, and that feels very odd. I am waiting for the contract. If I get the job, it means I’ll be able to attend a writer’s conference in September, in Chicago. More later.

I am now adding days of the week to these novels I’m working on, to bring a little more cohesive feeling to them. We all know that we do things differently on weekends than we do during the week, even when we’re retired. Ever notice how the tenor of even your emails changes on weekends? My very first novel, Felling of the Sons, took place over a four-day stretch, so I even added the time of day to those scenes. It really did help, and I don’t know why I abandoned that in subsequent novels.

No word on the March 2nd commercial, but I got a mini-one from the agency who was supposed to talk to me about the other one and is now pretending like it doesn’t exist. Maybe it doesn’t. I got up at 6:30 today and planned to get up at 6 tomorrow to get ready for Thursday when I have to get up at 4:00 to get to Chicago for a 7 a.m. and what if they never let me know I’m out? It’s the worst thing to hear, by the way. I was once cast in a local movie role because I was the only one who auditioned for it and I think she deliberately sabotaged me so she could fire me. “You’re being replaced” is an awful thing to hear, no matter the reason.

Photo is recent, having fun with a photo shoot for today’s audition. I will get up at 6 a.m. tomorrow but if I don’t hear by noon I will email them and say I won’t come if I don’t hear back by the end of the day. Or something to that effect. Sigh. I have a strange life.